Welcome to the trenches!! That very special time when your life is consumed by nipple cream, diaper bags, sleep schedules, coordinating playdates, a brain that’s split in two, and overwhelming exhaustion. I’m talking about…the time at home with a newborn and a toddler.
My kids are now 5 and 7, so to me, that time is crystal clear in some ways (crying, maniacally cleaning the house, accidentally pouring baby formula into my coffee–true story) and has become very foggy in others. So instead of dredging up those memories, I talked to a mom who’s going through it right now.
Enter: Priscilla! I worked with Priscilla for years, and she is truly one of my favorite people. She is endlessly positive, incredibly fun to talk to and the kind of person who somehow leaves you feeling more energized and inspired than you did before the conversation.
She is also a total beauty and skincare obsessive, both personally and professionally. She has worked at some of the best beauty brands in the business in strategic marketing and product development, including Peace Out Skincare, Benefit, Tatcha and Sephora. If Priscilla says a product is worth buying, believe me, I listen (and add to cart).
But what inspires me most about her right now is the way she has navigated becoming a mom of two. Priscilla lives in the Bay Area with her husband, their two-year-old son and their almost eight-week-old daughter. She was laid off in March of this year, and she is now taking care of a newborn, juggling toddler life and beginning to think about what comes next career-wise.
She has handled it all with so much enthusiasm and grace that it truly inspires me. And then there’s her workout routine, which made me want to immediately step up my game.
When we talked, her newborn spent the interview tucked into a Solly wrap against Priscilla’s chest. With her first baby, Priscilla was too anxious to use one because she worried he might suffocate. This time, her pediatrician told her (not in these exact words): girl, you gotta figure this out. So she did.
That moment says a lot about becoming a second-time mom. The circumstances may be harder, but your headspace can be completely different.
While we chatted, we got into…
A typical day in her (semi-chaotic) life
Her go-to quick meals, snacks, and workouts
Ride-or-die baby and toddler products
Skincare and makeup routine
Overrated baby stuff
Advice for new moms
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And with that, let’s dig in!
What does life with a newborn and a toddler REALLY look like right now?
It is the most magical and difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life.
A girlfriend wrote that in a card when I first got pregnant, and at the time I thought, That is quite a statement. But now I am living it. It feels so honest.
The most magical part has been watching my son enjoy the baby and step into the big-brother role. He is either completely enthralled by her OR totally indifferent, and I was expecting the worst, so that has been amazing.
The hardest part is adjusting to the reality that with two kids, nobody automatically gets a break. With one child, you can hand the baby to your partner and step away for a minute, and vice versa. That does not really exist right now. It feels very much like we are in the trenches.
And sometimes, as biased as it sounds, Mom knows best. When you are with the newborn all day, you learn exactly how to calm her. Your husband may not know how to do it in the same way yet, so it can feel like a lot.
What surprised you most about going from one child to two?
I was pleasantly surprised by how well my oldest responded to the baby. I was so terrified that he was going to wake up every time she was up at night, but he doesn’t make a peep!
My headspace is also completely different with baby number two. I had so much social anxiety after my first. If I met another mom at the park, I would beat myself up because I couldn’t be completely present in the conversation. That was super hard because I have always prided myself on being really present with people.
Now I understand that we may not be able to give each other 100 percent of our attention, and that’s okay. You can be a good friend AND have two kids you’re responsible for. Those things can coexist.
Walk me through a typical day.
I feel really blessed that we have daycare and help from my parents. My toddler either goes to daycare or spends the day with my mom or stepdad. The newborn stays with me.
In the morning, it depends on which child wakes up first. I’m either breastfeeding the baby or getting my toddler dressed. Sometimes he’s in his high chair watching Sesame Street while I breastfeed. Then I get both kids out the door and drop my toddler off.
When I come home, I breastfeed again and try to get through a Peloton workout. I will do 20 minutes of strength, 10 minutes of core and a 30-minute bike ride. Breaking it into small increments is how I fit it into the baby’s day.
Ideally, she falls asleep in the swing while I’m on the bike. Sometimes she fights it, so I’m CONSTANTLY pausing the ride and putting her pacifier back in. Eventually, I move her onto the floor for tummy time.
It’s not perfect by any means. It might take me an hour and a half to complete a 60-minute workout because I spend 30 minutes trying to settle her! But eventually I get it done.
Then I shower, breastfeed again and try to tackle the running list: cleaning the house, meal prepping, catching up with a friend and connecting with people about job opportunities.
When my husband gets home, we connect for a little bit. He picks up our toddler, I start dinner, we get him to bed…and then we do it all again.
How are you and your husband dividing everything right now?
He hasn’t taken his paternity leave yet because we’re trying to put off paying for childcare as long as possible. What has worked for us is trying to let the person who is working sleep.
I handle middle-of-the-night wake-ups and all things related to the newborn in the evenings. My husband handles everything with my toddler after picking him from daycare…bathtime, bedtime routine, and more. And then before my husband gets ready for bed, he takes the baby so I can do my entire nighttime routine.
We try to avoid having one parent responsible for both kids at once. As much as possible, it is one parent with one child.
How much sleep are you actually getting?
I can give you exact numbers because I wear an Oura Ring. Some people think I am insane for doing that with a newborn but…oh well!
Right now, I get about six hours of broken sleep. One of my non-negotiables is that I do not make plans between noon and 1 p.m. I try to sleep then. On weekends, my toddler naps from around noon to 2 p.m., so if we are making plans, they happen in the morning or later in the day. I have to get some sleep.
Sometimes I lie down while the baby sleeps and only get 30 minutes, but I think even shutting your eyes helps.
There are moments when I have to choose: Do I sleep, or do I socialize? Right now, I have to sleep. It is more important, and I remind myself that this is temporary.
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Up next: Priscilla’s postpartum routines, the products making life easier, ride-or-die beauty and skincare favorites, and her advice for new moms.
