One year ago, I turned 40.

And yeah, it was kind of a mindfuck.

I mean 40 sounds…old. (Sorry! I know I’m not supposed to say that!) I didn’t feel 40 (in fact I feel perpetually 28 for some reason). I didn’t act 40 (I don’t think?). And hopefully I didn’t look 40. It’s just a big number that, for better or worse, made me reflect on where I was in life and whether this is where I “should” be at 40.

And to be honest, at the time, I felt like I was *exactly* where I should be.

At least…on paper.

Married to great husband (we’ve been together since 2008 so it’s been a whiiiile), two healthy, active young daughters, a home I love, and a cool job as VP of Brand & Narrative at a global beauty brand. WITH a nice boss, coworkers I genuinely like, and a wonderful team…what more could I want! This was an executive role I had been working toward for years and years, and FINALLY got. In theory, everything was (dare I say) perfect.

And I lived in that “perfection” for a while. There were no sudden changes. It’s not like I blew out the candles on my 40th birthday cake (carrot cake, always carrot cake) and instantly blew up my career at the same time. But it made me start thinking about my life. The fact that I’m not getting any younger. The fact that we only get one life here on this earth. And the fact that maybe, I wanted more from mine.

I thought about this in the background for about five months. And in that time I realized that I wasn’t as deliriously happy as I would expect someone to be who finally “had it all.”

Here’s what was really going on. I felt like I was constantly RUSHING. Getting up in the dark, packing lunches bleary-eyed, frantically dressing and doing makeup, getting my kids dressed and to school (barely making it in time for the bell), sometimes literally RUNNING back home to make an 8 a.m. call, rushing downtown in between meetings. Being in back-to-back meetings all day, often eating lunch in meetings, rarely going outside. Leaving the office early to rush home, doing pickup, finally getting home feeling like a shell of myself. Too drained to cook dinner, too fried to be 100% present for my kids. Comatose on the couch at 8:30 p.m. Then waking up to do it all again.

Instead of energizing me, my VP role was sapping my energy. And ironically, although I was in a creative field, all my creativity went to my work and none was left for my life. (That’s why I didn’t start Substacking until after I gave my notice…I just didn’t have any creative juices left to flow.) I was doing my job, but it didn’t feel like the exact right fit…like a puzzle piece that was slightly off, and I was trying to jam it in.

I don’t want this to come across as some sort of fist-shaking tirade against corporate America or my former company. I worked with lovely people at a fun brand. And of COURSE executives are in meetings all day. Of COURSE being a VP means early mornings, tough employee situations and conversations, workplace politics, mid-year reviews, HR training. Of COURSE everyone describes a fast-paced, constantly changing corporate environment as “crazy”. None of this was a surprise. The only surprise was how I felt once I was actually living it.

It was a classic case of, “It’s not you, it’s me.” The relationship I had been pursuing for years ended up not feeling right for me anymore. And so, instead of spending more time in a situation that I knew wasn’t “it”, I walked away. I knew I could do better, contribute more, and be happier. I owed it to myself, and to the people around me. I didn’t want to settle for “fine” or “pretty good”. When it comes to my career, I want true love.

Now what?

Friends have told me to rest, take time for myself, and enjoy a much-needed break. But that’s not me. I don’t rest, I don’t nap. I’m almost always in go mode. And I feel like I have all this built-up energy inside me that I want to channel into my future.

So, I’m plunging headfirst into my next adventure: working for myself. I’m starting a brand consultancy business, built on everything I’ve been doing for 18 years (!). Helping brands figure out what they stand for, how to cut through the noise, how to position and name their products, how to have a voice that sounds uniquely like them, and how to talk to their customers. Website coming soon because good things take time (at least, that’s what I tell myself every day).

Do I know what the hell I’m doing? With the work, yes…I’ve been doing this kind of work for brands forever. But when it comes to starting and running my own business? Absolutely not. I’ve been in corporate my entire career! I don’t know life beyond a bi-weekly direct deposit paycheck and open enrollment. I’ve never created an LLC, written up contracts, put together a Master Services Agreement, set up Quickbooks, built a CRM database, or sent invoices. I’m teaching myself as I go.

I’m going to make mistakes (which I don’t love but ya know it’s going to happen). It’s going to be hard…I’m already working harder than I ever have in my life! But I also feel more exhilarated, motivated, and excited than I have in a long time. I want to work. I want to do well. I want to give this new path my all.

What does that look like? Well, I’ve been working hyper-efficiently on building my business from about 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. (with some help from AI, of course). I’ll take breaks for a walk or a workout, to give myself the movement and sunlight and fresh air I need to feel my best. I have a networking coffee or catch-up chat at least 1-3 times a week, which feeds my soul (there are so many positive and inspiring women out there, it almost makes me want to cry.) Then I’ll pick my kids up early to be able to get them to soccer and swim class on time. I have the mental space to actually plan out dinners and (wait for it) COOK THEM. What?!?! It feels like a whole new me, a whole new life.

So, with you (my dear Substack reader!) as my witness, I am going to write my verbal vision board for one year from now. In October 2027, I want all of this to be true, and I’m not going to stop until it’s a reality.

Here goes…

October 2027

Over the past year, I…

• Worked with founders and brands that light me up

• Met and formed relationships with warm, interesting, inspiring women

• Did work I am truly proud of

• Learned new skills and platforms

• Replaced my corporate salary

• Chaperoned field trips, volunteered in classrooms, chauffeured to afterschool activities with zero stress

• Posted every week on Substack and built a community that brings me joy

• Worked out 5 times a week

• Increased my steps from 8,500 a day in 2025 to 11,000 a day in 2027

• Read 50 books

• Spent lots of quality time with my husband, family, and friends

• Felt fulfilled and excited about my life

I’ll check back here in one year. Until then, I will be keeping the positive and purposefully delulu vibes going.

Have you made a big transition in your life? Would love any advice or thoughts (or a pep talk) in the comments! And if you think my story could be helpful for your Substack peeps, please share it.

So many of you loved AI Made Me Hotter that I decided to start a mini series sharing how I’m using AI in my everyday life.

Welcome to Friday Five: five things I did with AI this week, plus the prompts (so you can steal them, xo).

These are personal use cases, but I’m also using AI a TON to set up my new business right now…I left that out because it’s obviously a little more niche (think: positioning, calendar mapping, proofing my website, building a CRM database, getting me through a small business checklist…etc etc). BUT if you want to hear about that side of it too, let me know in the comments!

Okay, here’s what I outsourced to the bots lately:

1. Figured out what we actually need for a camping trip

We’re taking the kids to Yosemite and staying in a cabin/tent situation next weekend (with like a hundred families from their school…buckle up). I am not a camper (repeat: not a camper) and was sent a giant packing list that immediately made me want to hide my head in the sand/cancel the trip/book a luxury resort in St. Tropez.

SO instead of dealing, I gave the entire list to AI, told it what we already owned, what food I planned to bring, and asked it to divide everything into must bring / nice to have / absolutely do not need to buy.

Then I had it check the weather forecast and adjust accordingly. I also had it link specific products that will be delivered in the next week so I could just click and buy.

The biggest win: people kept telling me we needed heated blankets, which felt like an expensive thing I would buy, use once and then store in my house for the next 17 years. AI confirmed we could skip them, but that we did need warmer sleeping bags.

THE PROMPT:

I’m going to [PLACE] from [DATES] with [WHO YOU’RE TRAVELING WITH]. Here is the packing list I was given: [PASTE LIST]. Here’s what we already own: [LIST]. Check the expected weather and divide this into: MUST BRING, NICE TO HAVE and SKIP. Tell me exactly what I need to buy ahead of time and what I absolutely do not need.

2. Found the least-painful time for a family reunion

I wanted to plan a trip to see my husband’s family in Florida, but had to deal with a psychotic mess in my head involving school calendars, airfare (spoiler alert, holiday flights are ridiculously expensive), number of nights, nonstop flights, two possible airports, weather in Florida, and the Florida family’s work schedules.

Instead of opening 47 browser tabs, I gave AI all the parameters and had it compare multiple weekends and airports.

We ended up narrowing it down to specific dates and actual flight options, including the total cost for all four of us.

THE PROMPT:

I want to plan a family trip from [HOME AIRPORT] to [DESTINATION]. We need at least [X] nights. Compare these possible dates: [DATES]. We’re traveling with [NUMBER/AGES OF KIDS]. Prioritize nonstop flights, reasonable departure times and keeping the total cost down. Compare nearby airports if relevant. Give me the 3 best options and explain the tradeoffs of each.

This is especially good if you’re trying to work around random teacher workdays, three-day weekends or school breaks (which we were).

3. Told it to fix the cord hell happening under my desk

There was a nest of cords on, under, and behind my desk that had been making me slightly furious every time I looked at it.

I took a photo and said: Tell me exactly what to buy to make this not look like this anymore.

It assessed what was actually going on, told me what types of organizers I needed and helped me figure out how to hide everything instead of just buying another cute basket and shoving cords into it. Then it hyperlinked to the exact products so I could have them arrive in two days.

THE PROMPT:

[UPLOAD PHOTO] This area is driving me crazy. I want it to look streamlined and uncluttered without doing a major project. Assess exactly what is creating the visual clutter, then give me the simplest solution and a shopping list of exactly what I need to fix it.

I feel like this method could be used on basically every horrifying corner of my house. I’ve already used it on junk drawers, kitchen cabinets, bathroom drawers stuffed with haircare products, you get it.

4. Found acting classes for my daughter (without me spending an hour Googling)

I wanted to find an acting class for my 7-year-old, but I had some pretty specific requirements: after school or weekends, close to home, age appropriate and ideally not musical theater (singing is a hard pass for her).

I had AI research options, narrow them down to five and compare them. Then, because one of the websites looked like the information might be outdated, I made it go back and verify everything again.

THE PROMPT:

Find the 5 best [CLASS/ACTIVITY] options for a [AGE]-year-old within a [X]-minute drive of [NEIGHBORHOOD/CITY]. I need [DAYS/TIMES], and I prefer [SPECIFIC REQUIREMENTS]. Prioritize programs with strong parent reviews. Verify that the classes are currently being offered and include age range, schedule, price and registration link.

I will never manually research kids’ activities the old way again.

5. Figured out exactly what time to take our family photos

This is my favorite category of AI use: extremely minor decisions that somehow take up way too much space in my brain.

We have family photos scheduled in San Francisco in November and I had to choose between 3:00, 3:30, 4:00 or 5:30.

Normally I would Google sunset time, start doing mental math about golden hour, wonder how quickly it gets dark, think about how long my children will tolerate smiling at a stranger...

Instead, I asked AI. (Also because last year I waited to book until the last minute and we got a shoot time at 12:30 on a super-sunny day…aka worst lighting imaginable, so this year I want to get it right).

It checked sunset and twilight times, factored in a 30-minute shoot with two kids and told me 3:30 was the sweet spot.

Done, decision made, brain space returned to me.

THE PROMPT:

I’m taking family photos on [DATE] at [LOCATION]. My available start times are [TIMES], and the shoot will last approximately [LENGTH]. Check sunset and golden-hour timing and tell me which time gives us the best light without risking it getting too dark. Factor in that we’ll have [NUMBER/AGES OF KIDS].

And that concludes this week’s edition of things I made AI think about so I didn’t have to.

I want to hear about what you used AI for this week! Drop your tips below. And if you think any of these are helpful to your Substack people, please share.

See you next Friday. 👋

There are certain women I look at and think: Okay, but what are you ACTUALLY doing?

Michelle is one of them.

Michelle and I worked together for many years at Benefit Cosmetics, where she’s a project manager on the Global Store Design team. She has two kids (ages seven and four), commutes into the office three days a week, and has all the same after-school activities/dinner/bath/bed chaos the rest of us do.

She also happens to be extremely fit.

As in, placed-second-in-a-bodybuilding-competition fit.

So obviously, I’ve been stalking her about fitness for ages. She’s told me the best peanut butter to get (Teddie), the brand of creatine that tastes great and won’t bloat me (Peach Perfect), and we’ve trauma bonded traded stories about the hardest moves at Solidcore. So this article was my ultimate excuse to get into allll the details.

What I loved about talking to Michelle is that she doesn’t wake up at 4 a.m., spend two hours a day at the gym, or cut out sugar. I mean yes, she has done the extremely intense version of fitness. But now she does Pilates, walks a ton, lifts a few times a week, eats dessert, goes to Chipotle and lets the dishes pile up sometimes (hey, it happens to the best of us).

We dive into..

• What her workouts look like (plus when she gets them done)

• Exactly what she eats in a day (including the same breakfast she’s eaten for two years)

• Creatine and protein (a millennial’s favorite buzzwords)

• Weights vs cardio

• How many steps she gets in a day

• What she de-prioritizes to make time for her health (because something always has to give)

• And MORE

A quick heads-up: This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through them, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Okay. Let’s goooo.

First, give me the quick snapshot. What does life look like right now?

I live in the Bay Area and commute into a San Francisco office from the East Bay three days a week, so it’s pretty busy chaotic.

I’m on the Benefit Cosmetics Global Store Design team as a project manager. I’m actually a Benefit boomerang…I’ve left and come back quite a few times! I quit in 2016 to become a personal trainer (see, the fitness story is already starting), then came back when COVID happened and I had to take a step back from training.

I have a seven-year-old daughter in second grade and a four-year-old son who just started TK. They definitely keep me running around and on my toes!

I’m a very routined person. If I’m in a routine, I’m thriving. Right now, my mental and physical health feel really good, and I feel like we’re in a good routine with the kids and their extracurriculars.

Where I struggle is finding time to see my girlfriends and making time for my husband. There’s just not a lot of time in the day! You have to figure out what can take a backseat at different times. Sometimes it’s, Okay, date night can happen next month. But this is an area I’d love to work on and get better at.

Is there anything you’ve stopped caring so much about?

Spending time with people who aren’t in my top five.

I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, but I don’t care anymore about going to this mom’s party or that mom’s event just because I feel like I should. I’ve really started focusing on my top-tier friends, the most important people in my life.

Walk me through a work-from-home morning.

I wake up around 5:45 and make coffee. I make my kids’ lunches in the morning before they wake up because it’s fresher and tastes better, and I think they’re more likely to eat it.

I do my hair and makeup REAL quick, then wake them up around 6:25. We have a little routine where we cuddle on the couch (for a maximum of five minutes, we have places to be!), then we get ready and eat breakfast.

My husband is a personal trainer and starts work at 5:30, so I’m on my own in the morning. He gets home around 7:15, and by then I have the kids dressed and ready. He takes them to school, and I get on my walking pad.

I typically walk for 20-25 minutes. If I’m just listening to a meeting, I’ll walk during it. I have three-pound weights and sometimes do arms, too. If I’m leading a meeting, I don’t walk because I need to focus.

Then I eat breakfast and start working.

What’s the hardest part of the day?

Definitely 5 to 9 p.m. The witching hour.

The mornings sound like they’d be the most chaotic, but they’re actually pretty chill. In the evenings, my kids have extracurriculars and my husband works a split shift, so I’m not getting any help.

I finish work, pick the kids up from his gym, take them home, make dinner, bath, bed. My husband gets home around eight and helps with my older daughter’s bedtime. I eat with the kids, and he eats when he gets home.

Have you always been this into fitness?

Not at all! I was mediocre at every sport I played. I was not good at anything physical!

After I graduated from college, my parents were going through a bad divorce and I moved to Colorado. I was living in Boulder, going to school and having a good time. Maybe too good of a time. I wasn’t living a healthy lifestyle.

One day my roommate came home and said, “I have a voucher for a free kickboxing class.”

I went (which was very unlike me at the time) and I LOVED it. My brain loves that dopamine high. Boxing was my first real “in” to fitness.

I started working at the gym and teaching kids’ workout classes. Eventually I moved back to California and started going to the same boxing franchise here.

That’s where I met my husband. He was the manager.

And we basically got into fitness together.

And then you eventually became a personal trainer AND competed in bodybuilding. What made you want to do that?

I did my first bikini competition in 2016. My husband was training a few other bikini competitors, and I thought, I can do that. Why not?

But when I decided to compete again in 2025, I was in a completely different phase of my life. I was married, I had two kids, my body had gone THROUGH it, I was working full-time.

It became…Can I STILL do this?

I wanted to prove to myself that I could commit to something and stay committed even with so much happening around me.

And it was REALLY hard.

I was weight training five or six times a week and doing cardio five or six times a week. Sometimes I’d be in my garage gym at 5 a.m. and then have to go back in the evening after the kids went to sleep. I was staying up late and waking up early.

Prep was 12 to 16 weeks. I was on a meal plan, and I might start around 2,000 calories, but then we would cut and cut. By two weeks out, I was around 1,100–1,200 calories.

I was in the office basically crying. I remember apologizing to everyone after my show. Like, Sorry I was a bitch. Sorry I cried.

I was eating protein, fat and carbs, but very small amounts. Chicken, ground beef, ground turkey, white fish, some salmon. Tons of vegetables and white rice. Oatmeal. Some days I could have sourdough bread.

I ate a lot of shredded lettuce just to fill myself up.

Your taste buds really do change. It becomes eating to live. I would basically tell myself: Food is in my future.

Okay, so that was bodybuilding Michelle. But I was actually more curious about what she does now to stay fit and healthy day in and day out.

Paid subscribers get Michelle’s weekly workout routine, what she eats in a day, her favorite high-protein meals and snacks, the supplement she swears by, what she thinks women get wrong about fitness, and her extremely relatable rule for what slideswhen life gets too busy.

Read more

Am I alone at being weirdly stalkerish about morning routines?

I feel like it started back in the early aughts Us Weekly days, when I would devour stories of celebrities waking up at 6 a.m. to drink hot lemon water and make green smoothies. Then of course the wellness blogger era (affirmations! journaling!), and then finally today’s TikTok “come along with me as I get morning sunlight, eat protein before coffee, down some coconut cult and get a head start on my 10,000 steps” videos (which I’m watching, obviously).

The morning routine that I see only once in awhile, that strikes me as being very rare and exciting (kinda like seeing a pink car or an actually clever billboard IRL) is that of a working mom. Maybe it’s because working moms are too busy sprinting to get out the door to find time to chronicle out a routine. Or maybe because our morning routines are too chaotic to even be classified as a “routine”…because they’re less calming mantras, more scrambling to fill water bottles and find as missing sock.

As part of Whatever She’s Doing, I’ve started interviewing other working moms about what mornings look like for them, so I figured now is as good a time as any to lay out what really happens in my house, starting before the sun comes up (sob).

I have two daughters (kindergarten and second grade), and their school starts at 7:50 a.m. Which means we need to be out the door by 7:35 a.m. to walk up the (massive) hill and get there before the bell. So things get going…early.

And a quick heads up that this post includes affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. And as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. These are all products I genuinely love and purchased with all my own money :).

5:30 a.m.

Let me start by saying…I don’t ENJOY waking up at 5:30 a.m. In fact I would prefer NOT to wake up at 5:30 a.m. My natural wake-up time is closer to 6:30 or 7. But the peace of mind I get from waking up before anyone else in the family, having a few minutes just to myself, and getting a jump start on the day makes it beyond worth it. I try to go to bed by 9:30 p.m. to make this wake-up less painful, but it always sorta is.

The first thing I do is the “morning shed” (which I have unknowingly been doing for years before this term was coined). That means take off my silk hair bonnet, take out my ear plugs, and remove my super-sexy mouth guard and retainer. Yes, I’m 40 and still wear a retainer (cue the sound of my inner middle schooler groaning). But I don’t want my teeth to get crooked again, dammit! The heartache of going through three years of braces WITH RUBBER BANDS is not something I care to do again.

Then I rinse off my face, pat it dry, and get right back in bed with my red light mask. This kind of eases me into the day (because hey, I’m still lying down under the covers!). I have it on for 3 minutes, during which time I try to just breathe deeply and think positively about the day ahead.

After that, I’m into the bathroom to tongue scrape, brush my teeth, put in my contacts (I keep meaning to get Lasik but…life), and do my skincare routine:

• Naturium Azelaic Acid

• CosRX Snail Mucin

• Roc Retinol Eye Cream

• Weleda Skin Food (I know it’s thick and greasy but as I get older I’m trying to keep in ALL the moisture)

• Sunscreen (I switch it up but currently using Beauty of Joseon, bought in Korea)

I take a few minutes to massage it in with my fingers, scraping along my jaw toward the ear and gently massaging out under my eyes, and up and out on my upper eyelids and brow bone to drain fluid. This helps my eye area look more awake and my whole face look less puffy.

5:45 a.m.

At this point I go upstairs to the kitchen, where my morning decaf coffee is already hot and waiting for me (I set my coffee maker the night before). I add in stevia, 1 scoop of chocolate marine collagen powder, and some steamed soy milk. I also have a 16 oz glass of filtered water with 5g creatine mixed in, my daily multivitamin, and fish oil (I take the rest of my supplements—iron and magnesium—later in the day).

I pop on my red light hat for 10 minutes. I got it about 6 months ago as part of a VERY comprehensive “make my hair grow longer and thicker” campaign (which is actually working, details coming soon). It was expensive, but I was willing to invest in my hair and scalp, and it’s super easy to wear while doing the chores (I probably wouldn’t wear it out of the house though, xo).

With the hat on, I spend a few minutes ice rolling my face, which feels refreshing and also helps to depuff. Then I unload the dishwasher, which I run every night before bed. I lay out a cutting board and 2 kids’ bento boxes to create a “lunch making station” for later in the morning (as much as I’ve tried, I just can’t get it together enough to make lunches the night before).

6 a.m.

From 6-6:30, I do one of two things: work out, or catch up on life admin.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday I do a Peloton workout. Either a 20-minute progressive strength class + 5 minute ab class, or on Fridays I do a 30-minute spin class with a few girlfriends who join me virtually (if anyone’s interested in joining, let me know!). The Peloton Strength membership is only $12.99/month, which I think is a great deal for the TONS of very high-quality classes available. I keep a yoga mat and 3 sets of weights in my living room, and the bike is in the garage (I gave up the pricier spin class membership and just prop up my phone on the bike handlebars).

I also LOVE (love) Solidcore classes, but now with two kids in early school, I’ve had to give up morning classes and instead go Tuesday and Thursday afternoons before pick-up (which is ONLY possible now that I don’t have a corporate job anymore).

And to be very honest…this workout routine is a “best case scenario” routine. Some days it doesn’t happen. That’s ok. I plan for 5-6 workouts per week, knowing it will realistically be more like 3-5.

Tuesday and Thursday mornings I catch up on life admin on my laptop. This is stuff that could very easily creep into the workday, and piles up enough that once a week leaves me behind. A few examples of life admin:

• Book all types of doctor appointments

• Booking family holiday photo shoot session

• School paperwork (field trip permission slips, picture day order forms)

• School sign-ups (what food am I bringing into the literacy breakfast, when am I bringing in second grade snacks, when am I volunteering in the classroom)

• Paying bills

• Ensuring Google calendars are all up to date

• Etc.

6:30 a.m.

If I just worked out, I’ll take a sprint body shower (aka, 3 minutes with soap). Then I’ll get dressed. Since I work from home but still want to feel presentable (to myself and to other parents at drop-off), my typical “uniform” is a loose-fit pair of jeans (Levi’s or 12th Street lately), a white t-shirt (Gap), a cozy sweater (American Vintage, Everlane, Gap), a few layered necklaces (Gorjana), and sneakers for the walk to and from school (Adidas, Veja).

From there, the 5-minute makeup routine. As someone who worked in the beauty industry for 13 years (10 at Benefit, hence my die-hard love of several products), I live to try new products and mix it up just to keep life interesting, but when traveling I just bring one from each category and call it a day.

• Tinted sunscreen (currently rotating Avene and Drmtlgy) OR It Cosmetics Nude Glow CC Cream (SO good)

• Brow pencil (Benefit Precisely, My Brow Pencil, always)

• Brow gel (Benefit Precisely, My Brow Wax or Benefit Fluff Up Brow Wax)

• Cream, liquid or gel blush (currently rotating Tower 28, Merit, Rare Beauty)

• Mascara (Benefit Roller Lash is my go-to for lifted, separated lashes but I’m ALWAYS trying new mascaras, and I love to layer two kinds)

• Lip liner (currently Fenty, Make Up For Ever, Maybelline Lifter Liner)

• Lip gloss (currently Eadem, Maybelline Lifter Gloss, Summer Fridays)

6:45 a.m.

The kids’ alarm goes off (chirping birds, so nice right). That means it’s showtime.

Sometimes they will spring right out of bed, some days are rough. With kids, every day is different. So, we give them a little buffer to ease into the day. I turn off their sound machine and open all the blinds.

7 a.m.

By 7 we need to be upstairs making breakfast…typically protein waffles with a cup of milk, or cereal (I try my best to get healthier brands that they also like, a recent favorite has been Magic Spoon fruity cereal. I use the Yuka app to try to make semi-healthier choices). If we have time, I’ll make a scrambled egg sandwich on Challah bread, which we get from a local bakery. My kids love a leisurely breakfast so this takes up a good chunk of the morning. I’ve learned over the years not to rush this time or it will not be pretty.

While the kids eat, I make their lunches. The typical formula is sandwich (turkey + cheese for one, sunflower seed butter + jelly for the other), veggies (baby carrots + cucumber slices + spinach), fruit (apple or berries or clementines or peaches etc.), cheese (string cheese for one, Laughing Cow slice for the other) + a wild card (veggie straws, pretzel sticks, freeze-dried fruit, crackers, etc.). I also pack them each a snack, which is can be a low-sugar yogurt, applesauce, Z bar, a Trader Joe’s fruit leather or fruit buttons, pretzel sticks, you get it.

7:20 a.m.

Now it’s crunch time. The kids know their morning chores: clear their plates, get dressed, brush teeth, put on sunscreen (a small stick sunscreen is the easiest for them to do themselves, and for me to pretend to myself that they’ll reapply during the day…lol). The kids’ socks, shoes, har ties, hair brush, leave-in conditioning spray, and sunscreen are all in baskets at the front door which makes things easier.

My little one still needs help with a lot of these steps so I’m shepherding them along the way (also so they don’t get distracted by playing…or arguing with each other). I’ll do my best to get their hair looking presentable, and if I have a spare 5 minutes I’ll throw a few curls into my own hair. Imagine that.

No matter what, by the end we’re RUSHING to get out the door. I feel like a drill sargeant most days, sometimes literally shouting “GO! GO! GO!”.

7:35 a.m.

Out the door (hopefully), walking to school.

7:50 a.m.

Morning circle with the whole school, saying good-bye to the kids and watching them line up and run off with their respective friends and teachers, chit-chatting with other parents.

8:00 a.m.

On Mondays, we have a Parents’ Run Club where a group of us jog 2 miles together. It’s a really nice way to kick off the week and also get to know other parents. Every other day, I walk to a nearby Philz Coffee and grab my second decaf of the day (large Luca’s Unplugged with light cream and sweet stevia). On Wednesdays a good friend of mine joins, and we hang and catch up for 30 minutes, but most days I get it to go. Then I walk home. At this point I’ve totaled about 3,700 steps (more on Mondays!), which is pretty good for that early in the morning

8:15 a.m.

Now that I’m home (and I no longer have to commute into the office), I use this time for chore catch-up. I’ll clean up the breakfast dishes, throw in a load of laundry or fold any laundry leftover from the day before, and do some general tidying-up. Some days I’ll vacuum, others I’ll clean the toilets if it’s a desperate situation. I have a house cleaner who comes once a month for a deep-clean, but the rest of the time it’s on me, and I like to keep the house at least decently tidy.

I’ll also have my Power Drink during this window. It’s a 16 oz glass of filtered water with AG1 greens powder, a drop of the liquid Vitamin D (it comes with the powder), psyllium powder for fiber, and Armra colostrum (again, back on the “make my hair grow” train). It tastes decent and I chug it very quickly. I feel like it gives me energy for the day, makes me get sick less often, and helps my hair and nails (although that all may be placebo but oh well). It also tides me over til I eat breakfast, usually between 9-10.

8:45 a.m.

Log onto my laptop and “start” my day!

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Let me know about your morning routine, and if you think this could be interesting to your Substack people, please share!

Sometimes, raising kids feels like I’m starring in Girl, Interrupted.

Because what works for one family or one kid doesn’t necessarily work for another (hence: psychotic break). And of course, kids are always growing and changing. My two daughters are now 5 and 7 and verrry different from each other. Things that work for a while sometimes magically stop working a month later as they grow up and grow into themselves. Especially when it comes to discipline and routines, which are important but not necessarily an area of strength for me.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve tried systems that fizzled for one reason or another (often due to me not being able to follow through—mom-ing is hard, okay!). A moment of silence for everything that has gone by the wayside, including a variety of chore charts, potty-training charts, whiteboard systems, swear jars and allowance routines…I could go on.

But in the midst of it all, a few things have stuck (thank god). And I think they’ve stuck for a few reasons. One is that they incorporate a bit of fun and gamification into the ordinary or mundane. Two is that they are BRANDED.

As someone who has been in marketing for decades and has named many, many beauty products, I know the power of giving things a strong and memorable name, a look and feel, a compelling vibe. I truly think the branding aspect of these hacks has made them seem more interesting and enjoyable to my kids. And I recommend doing this with any situation your kids aren’t looking forward to. For example…

• Dad going out of town → Girls Weekend! Our favorite girl movies, dance parties, a visit to the pottery studio and playdates with Mom’s friends.

• Long drive → Road Trip! Special snacks, bare feet, audio stories, their favorite playlist, pillows + blankets.

• Toy cleanout → Home Edit! Watch a kid-focused episode of The Home Edit on Netflix (obsessed), get pumped to organize, play music, let them make huge piles of toys, add some fun bins and go to town.

I’m sure many of you are already doing this, but I’m telling you…the NAME itself is half the battle!

Without further ado, here are four easy kid hacks that have really worked for our family and helped me stop banging my head against the wall (as much).

1. Rainbow Dinner

PROBLEM: You have little kids (or big kids, no judgment here) who are picky eaters or who you’d like to get to try new foods.

SOLUTION: A built-in dinner game that makes trying new foods more fun and less scary.

Here’s how it works: Start with your kid’s plate. Add a bit of whatever you’re having for dinner (reallly trying not to make separate dinners for everyone—no time for that). Then add small amounts of fruit, vegetables, meats, nuts, pasta or chicken nuggets, plus a few fun “treats” like Goldfish or crackers. Basically, fill the plate with at least half foods you know they’ll eat and half foods you WANT them to eat. The goal is to not have to cook anything net-new, but simply use what you have in the fridge, freezer and pantry to fill the plate.

Next, organize the foods in rainbow order. Think: red lasagna, orange butternut squash, yellow Goldfish, green spinach, blue blueberries, purple beets, brown steak, white spaghetti with cheese. These can be very small portions, depending on how much your kids eat (we’re not feeding a football team here).

Then, we play! Give the kids instructions to “Eat something the color of…” Then go around the table and have THEM think of instructions. A few examples…

• Eat something the color of a stop sign!

• Eat something the color of grass!

• Eat something the color of a cloud!

• Eat something the color of poop! (This is a real crowd-pleaser.)

Before you know it, the plate is clear, and foods my kids previously wouldn’t have touched have magically disappeared.

2. Learning Lab

PROBLEM: Your kids don’t want to read or do any type of work or homework.

SOLUTION: Create a calming time block with fun and surprises.

Listen, homework is inherently NOT. FUN. It’s just not. It’s work you do at home…after you’ve had a full day of school and are exhausted and maybe brain-dead. But it’s a necessary evil. My kids are still young, but even in kindergarten and second grade, they have some homework (reading, worksheets). Even reading can become a battle. And I’m completely over having to nag them day in and day out to do it.

I found this especially tough over the summer when they were out of school. I didn’t want three months to go by, filled with outdoor camps and family trips, without any reading, writing or learning structure. I didn’t want them to come back to school in August feeling behind or stressed. I didn’t want their learning to slip.

Enter: Learning Lab. A dedicated 20 minutes for learning. We sit down at the dining room table, and each girl has her own dedicated “stack”—homework if she has it, or, during the summer, a special notebook, colored pens and an age-appropriate workbook (provided by the school, in our case). Sometimes I’ll add a fun printable or coloring sheet that I find online (i.e., search “free printable PDF tracing for kindergarten” or “free printable PDF KPop Demon Hunters coloring sheet”). I make the kids a snack and play calming classical music.

Then we start the time cube. The time cube is KEY. The kids take turns flipping it over to start the clock on learning. The result: a finite, bite-sized chunk of time for learning that’s enjoyable for everyone.

Sometimes the kids want to keep going past the 20-minute mark to finish their projects. Sometimes it’s harder, and they’re distracted and don’t get a lot done. But the consistent name, location, snacks, music, supplies and surprises make the idea of “homework” less scary and more pleasant…for them AND for me.

3. Morning Bell

PROBLEM: It’s hard to get your kids to do all their morning to-dos on time.

SOLUTION: A simple “race to ring the bell” device.

Our school starts at 7:50 a.m., and we walk there—uphill. That means I need to get two little kids out of the house by 7:30. Which, let me tell you, is no easy feat.

Their alarm (bird-chirping sounds) goes off at 6:45 a.m. I hate to make it any earlier than that because I want to let them sleep as much as possible. By 7, we’re having breakfast, which can sometimes take a while…they like a leisurely breakfast, which I can appreciate (same). From 7:15 to 7:30, we’re getting dressed, brushing teeth, applying sunscreen and putting on shoes + socks. Then, out the door.

It’s a ton to cram into a short amount of time. And needless to say, mornings can be a bit of a scramble.

This led to Morning Bell.

We keep a bell on the console table by the front door. When each kid has finished all their morning chores (dressed, teeth brushed, sunscreen on, socks + shoes on, hair done, breakfast plate cleared, PJs in the hamper), she gets to ring the bell to signal that she’s all done and ready for school. This competition makes mornings feel like a fun race and lights a fire under the kids without me having to yell or nag. It’s also a helpful signal to me and my husband that they’re ready to walk out the door.

Any bell will do, but a fun one always helps. This set has a bunch of different-colored bells, so whoever “wins” the morning gets to choose the colored bell for the next day.

4. Doorway Depot

PROBLEM: A constant morning scramble to find everything kids need to get out the door.

SOLUTION: One central place for all the last-minute items.

This one is an extension of Morning Bell and solves a similar problem: getting out the door on time. That can be for school or literally anywhere you’re trying to go…lunch, a doctor’s appointment, a family outing, a playdate—you get it. Getting kids out the freaking door can be a STRUGGLE.

Hence, the Doorway Depot. This is a system where you keep almost everything you need to get out the front door AT the front door. That way, everyone (including you) can park at the Depot, get everything done and get out.

Here’s how it works in my house:

• One basket contains kids’ socks.

• One basket contains kids’ sunscreen, a hairbrush, hair ties and leave-in conditioner.

• The shoe rack contains shoes.

• Hooks hold backpacks, with water bottles and folders stuffed inside the night before.

One place, many things—and no more sprinting back and forth between bedrooms, bathrooms, the kitchen and the door.

Let me know which kid hacks have been saving your sanity lately! And please share this post if you found the tips helpful.

I know, I know, I KNOW. The headline sounds like I uploaded a selfie and a robot reconstructed my face like I was a Real Housewife and Claude was my plastic surgeon on speed dial.

Well, that’s not exactly what happened. I still have the same face, the same body, the same two children who sometimes interrupt my 6 a.m. workout. And I still have the same number of minutes in a day, which is…not enough. (And while it IS the same number of minutes that Beyonce has in a day, I don’t quite have the same resources).

But AI has absolutely made me hotter. Not in a Kris Jenner/Lindsay Lohan way (unfortunately? Is it weird that at 40 I’m fascinated by face lifts? A topic for another day…). This transformation is less shocking but more useful. Basically, AI has helped me stop guessing and endlessly researching so I can focus on doing. It took the approximately 752 small decisions involved in eating well, working out, getting dressed, taking care of my skin and figuring out which supplement is actually doing anything, and created straightforward plans I can follow.

For a busy mom, this is the real glow-up. What I don’t need is more information (mental load, anyone?). What I do need is someone (or something) to absorb all the information, remember my preferences and constraints, filter through it all, and tell me what matters and what to do about it.

Here are the 10 ways I’ve actually used AI to look and feel better, and the prompts you can steal to do the same.

1. I used it as a nutritionist who remembers what I ate

I logged my real meals into Claude for a week (uploading photos is the quickest and easiest; you can also use voice-to-text) and asked it to estimate calories, protein and fiber. This wasn’t because I want to spend my life tracking every almond (did that enough in the early 2000s, wahh), but because it turned out my ideas of “high protein” and “high fiber” were a bit…overly optimistic.

For example, I thought my breakfast of eggs, black beans, hummus, half a sourdough English muffin and cheese was GOALS. But it landed around 380–410 calories with only 21–23 grams of protein. AI rebuilt it to hit my goal: at least 30 grams of protein, under 380 calories, with enough fiber to keep me full (adding egg whites, spinach and nutritional yeast helped). It also gave me multiple breakfasts that would hit the same goal, including a Kodiak oats bowl with almond milk, collagen, chia and hemp.

The benefit wasn’t in the math itself (although that helped), but learning the pattern well enough that I don’t NEED to do the math every morning.

**THE PROMPT** You are my registered dietitian. Here is everything I ate today, with approximate portions [upload photos]. Estimate calories, protein and fiber; tell me where I am likely under-fueled or overdoing it; and suggest small realistic changes to reach [your goal]. I am [age/height/activity], and I do not want an extreme or restrictive plan.

2. I made it build a workout schedule around my real life

There is infinite workout advice online and none of it is personalized to me and what I’m already doing. Which is: I do Solidcore three times a week (which is my whole personality, ask me about it), run two easy miles with a parent group, own dumbbells, use the Peloton bike and app, and want to build muscle without making exercise take over my life.

I gave AI all of that and asked whether I was doing too much or not enough, whether I needed more weights, and whether I needed to add sprints or stairs because that’s what a podcast told me to do.

It built a Monday–Friday split: Solidcore plus the easy run Monday, heavy upper body Tuesday, Solidcore Wednesday, heavy lower body Thursday, Peloton Friday, then rest or walking on weekends. It also created two repeatable 25–30-minute dumbbell workouts using only my floor, a mat and a couch. The plan worked because it accounted for what I already liked instead of handing me an imaginary person’s schedule that I wouldn’t do.

**THE PROMPT** You are my personal fitness trainer. Build a weekly split using the workouts I already do: [list them]. My goal is [goal]. I have [equipment], want to work out [number] days per week for [minutes] per session and have these fixed schedule constraints: [list]. Tell me what to add, what to stop, and where I need recovery.

3. I asked it to define my style in three words

Anyone else follow Allison Bornstein? I love her fashion advice and wanted to try out her Three Word Method to describe my style, but couldn’t figure out what mine were. So I took a picture of a few weeks’ worth of outfit mirror selfies and uploaded them to Claude.

My three words came back: Chic. Effortless. Modern. It was simple, but weirdly clarifying. Now when I’m deciding whether to buy something, I can ask: Is this chic, effortless and modern…or is it a fantasy version of me who summers on yachts (dream) and never has grubby hands grabbing my pants?

And the more you give AI here, the better advice it gives. So upload photos of outfits you love, outfits you hate, the things you wear constantly and the clothes that you never wear. Pinterest inspiration photos, etc. It can identify the common thread, translate it into outfit formulas and point out where your closet and your actual life don’t match up, and tell you what you need to add to your wardrobe and what to toss.

**THE PROMPT** You are my personal stylist. Based on these outfit photos and what I wear most, identify three words that should define my personal style. Explain why, name the silhouettes and details that support each word, and give me five repeatable outfit formulas for my week.

4. I got a personal color analysis

After looking at multiple well-lit photos, AI placed me in the Warm Spring family: warm-neutral golden undertones, green-blue eyes, golden-brown hair, low-to-medium contrast. Suddenly it made sense why cream, camel, warm navy, olive, coral, peach, cognac and gold tend to work, while stark white and bright colors wash me out (even though I still wear them sometimes because I like them and who cares).

It didn’t ban black (aka half my wardrobe) but did suggest warming it up with gold jewelry, camel colors or a warm lip. Color analysis is also great for choosing flattering makeup colors (cue me trashing the cool-toned shimmery pink lip glosses I’ve been buying since the days of Jane makeup at Walgreens…anyone?).

**THE PROMPT** You are my personal stylist. Analyze my coloring from these unfiltered photos taken in natural light. Identify my likely season, explain your confidence level, give me the best neutrals, whites, accent colors, metals and makeup shades—and tell me how to keep wearing black if it is not ideal. Give me all the information in a beautiful, visual, easy-to-understand infographic.

5. I used photos to find the clothing shapes that flatter me

Color is only one part of getting dressed. I’ve also used AI to assess which silhouettes, pant and sleeve lengths, necklines, proportions and shapes make an outfit feel balanced and look flattering on me. The key is to show it several angles and include measurements, comfort requirements (like, “I hate turtlenecks” or “I feel frumpy in wide pants”) and the shoes you really wear. A shape can be flattering and still be useless if it requires heels and a strapless bra on a Saturday that you’re spending bent over the sandbox.

The biggest benefit is before the shopping begins. Instead of browsing 865 dresses, I can ask AI to turn my shape and style words into a tight shopping “brief.” This means fewer tabs, fewer returns, less hemming and hawing about each purchase. And sadly, fewer clothes for my alternate yacht life (for now).

**THE PROMPT** You are my personal stylist. Using these photos [full-body] and my measurements [upload measurements], identify the most flattering silhouettes for tops, pants, jeans, skirts, dresses, and full outfits. Focus on proportion and fit, not changing or criticizing my body. Then create a shopping checklist using my three style words: [words].

6. I made it troubleshoot my hair

When I was dealing with hair thinning due to postpartum hormones and stress, I asked Claude to compare topical versus low-dose oral minoxidil and to identify what else was worth checking. It pointed me toward the boring but important things to watch—ferritin and iron, thyroid, vitamin D, hormones, stress and adequate protein—rather than convincing me that one magical gummy would solve all my problems.

I also used a photo when my color was turning brassy and reddish near the roots. AI explained that blue or blue-violet products made more sense for me than purple (which is what I always heard about), then built me a use cadence: toning shampoo every 7–14 days, hydration between uses, and a mask or bond treatment every few weeks. Tiny problem, highly specific answer, solved immediately.

**THE PROMPT** Help me troubleshoot [shedding/breakage/brassiness/scalp issues] using these photos, my timeline, medications, recent lab results, diet and current products. Separate likely causes from guesses, rank next steps by evidence, and tell me what requires a dermatologist or medical workup.

7. I had it audit my face…and my entire skincare shelf

I uploaded clear makeup-free photos of my face and asked for a dermatologist-style assessment of what was actually visible and what I should focus on. The “diagnosis” was a healthy baseline, with mild chin congestion and texture, some redness and post-inflammatory marks, some visible pores, and possible dehydration around my mouth and chin. The recommended treatment was retinoid, limited BHA or lactic acid, barrier-supporting hydration, niacinamide, daily SPF—and no aggressive scrubbing or over-exfoliating.

This was particularly helpful because I already use tretinoin, vitamin C, red light, occasional acids, several hydration products, and more (skincare junkie, hi). AI could see the risk was not that I was doing too little, but that I’m capable of doing too much.

**THE PROMPT** You are a conservative board-certified dermatologist reviewing my routine. Based on these makeup-free photos and this complete current product list, identify visible concerns, likely irritation risks, redundant ingredients and the simplest AM/PM routine. Do not diagnose disease; flag anything that needs an in-person dermatologist. Give me all the information in a clear, easy-to-understand infographic.

8. I researched skin treatments

Before a girls’ trip to Korea last year, I asked AI to compare skin treatments…because when you start going down the TikTok rabbit hole of Korean treatments, it’s a long way to fall. I had it assess the treatments through the lens of my skin: fair, melasma-prone (thanks, pregnancies!), some rosacea tendency, already using tretinoin, and unwilling to look like Samantha Jones post-chemical peel while on vacation. It sorted out the lower-downtime options such as skin boosters and ultrasound treatments from more aggressive ones. It specifically warned that heat-based treatments and overly aggressive laser settings can flare melasma.

Once I got to the clinic, I still met with the on-site doctor for a consultation first. AI didn’t replace a dermatologist or practitioner, but helped prepare me to walk in knowing generally what to focus on and what to ask. (I ended up getting Thermage, Rejuran aka salmon sperm injections, and a German brand of Botox…full post coming soon).

**THE PROMPT** Compare these cosmetic treatments for my goals: [list]. My skin history is [melasma/rosacea/acne/etc.], my current actives are [list], and my maximum downtime is [days]. Rank options by evidence, risk, downtime and likely benefit, then give me questions to ask a board-certified dermatologist.

9. I made it fire half my supplements

At one point my supplement situation included some combination of AG1, vitamin D, psyllium, colostrum, pumpkin seed oil, collagen, magnesium glycinate, Nutrafol, fish oil and iron. It was honestly too much to take, too much to keep track of, and too much to spend money on.

I uploaded my lab results from my most recent blood test and asked Claude for maximum benefit with minimum supplements, prioritizing hair, skin, digestion, sleep and overall health and immunity. It helped separate higher-value basics from nice-to-have extras that don’t have clinically proven results. It also connected low ferritin to the hair shedding issue.

The streamlined supplement stack prioritized a multivitamin, iron when appropriate, fish oil, magnesium and psyllium; collagen became optional. It also caught timing conflicts and told me exactly when to take everything (because for best results, iron shouldn’t be taken with coffee, calcium, magnesium or fiber).

**THE PROMPT** Audit my complete supplement stack for my goals, diet, medications and recent labs. Identify duplicates, weak-evidence products, interactions and timing conflicts. Give me a minimum-effective stack, an optional tier and a list to discuss with my doctor. Do not recommend treating a deficiency without labs or clinician guidance.

10. I asked for the honest, whole-person ‘hotter’ plan

Eventually I just asked it…what would make me hotter? I said I wanted the difference to be noticeable across my body, face, clothes and energy.

The answer wasn’t game-changing tbh but it was a good reminder. Claude said that for me, hotness meant even, healthy-looking skin; slightly more structured brows (which made me switch to a slightly deeper shade of brow pencil/wax); soft eye definition without heavy liner; hydrated, defined lips; clothes with a clear point of view; stronger more statement jewelry (still need to get on this one), a strong body with good posture; and energy that reads before any individual feature does. Define either eyes or lips, not everything at once. Stop treating every category as a separate renovation project.

That may be the biggest thing AI has done for me: help me zoom out. When I’m obsessing over one supplement or one high-protein breakfast, it can remind me that being hot isn’t about one thing. Everything is connected…your sleep affects your skin, your protein affects your hair, your workouts affect your posture, and obviously, feeling confident affects everything.

**THE PROMPT** Give me an honest but NOT mean glow-up audit across skin, hair, makeup, body/fitness, clothes and energy. Use the photos and context I provide. Prioritize the five changes with the highest visible impact for the least time, money and maintenance. Do not recommend weight loss unless I explicitly ask.

Disclaimer!! A few rules before you hand the computer your face

• AI is only as good as the context you give it.

• Use multiple clear, unfiltered photos in natural light.

• List your full routine, schedule, budget, health history and non-negotiables.

• Ask it to rank the most high-impact recommendations instead of dumping 30 ideas on you.

• Report back what worked and what didn’t so the plan improves.

• And please do not let a chatbot diagnose a mole, prescribe medication, treat an eating disorder or talk you into an injectable. AI is not a doctor…I repeat, AI is NOT a doctor!. Use it to organize information and prepare for qualified professionals, NOT impersonate them.

• Also: privacy matters. Don’t upload anything you would be horrified to see escaped into the wild. I stick to ordinary photos and information I’m comfortable sharing. #trustnoone

In short, AI didn’t make me hotter by giving me more to do (because I’m typically overwhelmed as it is). It helped me do fewer things more consistently and removed the decision fatigue that makes self-care feel like yet another full-time job.

And at the end of the day…being less stressed about how to be hot, is hot.

Have you used AI for skin, hair, makeup, body, clothes, wellness? Drop your tips and prompts! And, if you found this helpful, please share it!

Let’s kick off the Whatever She’s Doing interview series!

I’m endlessly inspired by the ambitious moms and women around me who are somehow doing it all and making it look effortless. Especially living and working in the Bay Area—the moms around me have BIG demanding careers, are hands-on moms, stay fit, look cute, travel, have clean houses, the list goes on. But I’m always wondering…HOW. What are the exact tips, tricks, tools that the rest of us can use?

Introducing Laurin, our first guest! We’ve known each other for about four years (I think? What year is it again?). We met while working at Benefit Cosmetics where she is Director of Global Marketing Campaigns (hello, cool job), and bonded over mom-ing, a mutual obsession with jumpsuits, and hot girl habits (we still trade links to Emma Grede and Lauryn Bosstick interviews). She’s an incredible human, so warm and kind, smart and a badass at work, and is always ready to share the products she’s using, parenting hacks that are working, and the different ways she’s prioritizing health and wellness.

I sat down to chat with Laurin (and by sat down I mean–I sat down and took notes, she walked up a hill with her dog while pushing a baby stroller. I told you: badass) about raising four kids (!), working remotely, creating routines that can survive chaos, and accepting that you can’t kill it at work and in motherhood every single day (which it turns out, is ok). Here, all the behind the scenes scoop on…

• Work & life schedule

• Morning & night routines

• Go-to breakfast, lunch, and dinners

• Health & fitness habits

• Ride-or-die products

• And more…

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Give me the quick snapshot: What does your life look like right now?

Oh my goodness. It’s a circus.

I have four kids, and they’re all in completely different seasons of life. My oldest is almost nine. She’s my little mini-best-friend bookworm, and it’s so fun watching her grow into a young lady. She asks crazy questions and sometimes knows more than I do. It’s wild. She’s not quite in the preteen years yet, so we’re in this sweet spot.

Then it’s just mayhem with my four- and three-year-olds. They have these spitfire personalities and bounce off each other all day. They’re high-energy from morning until night. Being constantly overstimulated is both hilarious and exhausting.

And then I have an eight-month-old who was the chill little caboose of the family but is now really coming into her own. She’s no longer just a lump on the floor. Now she’s crawling toward the stairs like a moth to a light.

We’re also juggling a new home, a new city and time between California and Nebraska. The second we figure something out, our routine changes again. I’m such a Type A control freak, but people say that once you have four kids, you learn to give in to the chaos. I feel like I’m there. You just have to give up a lot of the control and go with the flow.

What feels especially good right now?

I’m so lucky that my husband is completely 50/50 in our parenting. By the fourth kid, you have this wisdom about not sweating the small stuff and getting over the humps together.

We know our areas, and it’s really nice being able to lean on each other when we’ve hit our quota. I’m the morning person, and he’s the night person. I’ll do breakfast, get everyone dressed and get them out the door. On nights when I’m tapped, he handles bath, books and bed. We’ve found this great sweet spot in parenting.

We both work fully remotely, which is a blessing but can also be a curse. My mom might pop over, the nanny is there and kids are coming in. It can be hard to create a real divide between work and home.

But we usually have a little time in the morning to work out, go for a walk or get a fancy coffee. I’m loving my mornings right now. The afternoons are a little crazier.

Walk me through a typical workday, from when you start until you’re actually done.

It’s meetings on meetings, so I block off time to actually tackle projects and have that heads-down time for myself.

I typically get online at 10 a.m. my time, which is 8 a.m. Pacific, so I have a little head start before everyone else is online. I’ll do some personal admin, like checking a school form or paying a bill, because otherwise it’s weighing on my to-do list for the rest of the day.

Then I look at my calendar, make my to-do list and start working. My calls usually begin around 11. They help me get into work mode and kick-start the day.

My husband and I also have an informal team brief every morning: What does your day look like? When are your calls? Who can handle pickup or volleyball drop-off? We have help with the kids, and my parents are super helpful with pickup, but I try to do it when I can. It’s a constant tag team.

It’s not consistent—yet!

How do you keep work from taking over your entire day?

At the end of the workday, I’m officially done. I need to be with my kids. So that means I need to work super efficiently during the day to make sure everything gets done.

I have all my work apps on my phone—Teams, email, meetings—so I can take calls or respond whenever I need to. Voice texting helps so much. Leveraging AI tools to collect and organize my notes has also been huge. Truly life-changing.

Blocking my calendar into chunks is really important. I protect time to get my own work done and then leave open time for meetings.

What time do you wake up, and what’s your morning routine?

Before my youngest was born, I was such a pro at waking up before the kids and being on the offense. I used to get up at 5:45 and go to an F45 class or take a walk.

Now I sleep until 6:30. I’m still giving myself a little time, but I often have my three-year-old early riser alongside me for company.

My husband and I fill a big glass bowl with ice water and dunk our faces in it every morning. Now the kids are starting to do it, too. It wakes you up, tightens your skin and helps calm your body down. It’s like brushing our teeth. We each do it twice for at least 20 seconds. The second time is always more shocking!

My morning routine is muscle memory at this point. It’s comforting because it’s one consistent thing I can count on.

What does breakfast look like in your house?

My two middle kids get a smoothie every morning. They love it. They beg for it!

Once every week or two, I prep the dry ingredients in mason jars: a scoop of chocolate protein powder (Be Well by Kelly or Clean Simple Eats), hemp seeds, flaxseed, peanut butter, a little salt and about a quarter cup of oatmeal. In the morning, I drop in a banana, add milk and blend it in the NutriBullet. Then I’m not worried about the crap they eat for the rest of the day.

I eat the same thing almost every morning: one egg, a scoop of cottage cheese and egg whites, all scrambled together. I love it with arugula and nutritional yeast on top. Sometimes I’ll add sourdough from the farmers market or berries if I’m really hungry.

I used to drink coffee and then not eat until much later. Now, I think it’s so important to hydrate and eat something before having coffee. I start with an electrolyte and creatine mixture (Re-Lyte or LMNT electrolytes, Thorne creatine), eat my eggs and then have my coffee. I delay caffeine now and don’t depend on it.

What does your nighttime routine look like?

Just like I want to be on the offense in the morning, I’m a big believer in giving myself some time at night. It’s not just for me; it’s also important for the kids to have a consistent bedtime. It’s a win-win.

I used to be crazy about getting everyone to sleep at exactly 7 p.m. They all used to go to bed at the same time. Now my oldest stays up a little later, and with so many kids in different stages, I’ve had to let go. It’s honestly felt kind of freeing.

My me-time is usually from about 7:30 to 9. I’m lights-out no later than 10.

What do you do at night to make the next morning easier?

I can’t go to bed with a dirty kitchen. I tidy the house, shut off the lights, clean the counters and get everything ready for the next day.

I also pack the kids’ lunches at night. I make the sandwiches and cut up the cucumbers and fruit. The rotation is quesadillas, PB&J, a bagel with cream cheese or a turkey sandwich. They almost always get a cucumber and whatever fruit is in season. In the morning, I just add the snacks and any last-minute extras.

Then I wash my face with Cocokind face wash. It’s so gentle. When I do more skincare steps, it creates more skin issues, so I keep it simple: face wash, an oil and face cream. Then I brush my teeth and use my Omnilux red-light mask (which I found for way less on Facebook Marketplace!).

Finally, I read on my Kindle. The Kindle was life-changing for me. I’m ride or die. Once in a while, I’ll watch a show with my husband, but I’m not good at watching TV by myself. It’s not my thing.

What does your week in workouts look like, and when do you fit them in?

If I don’t get my workout done in the morning, it looms over me all day. When I do it in the morning, my attitude is happier, the endorphins are pumping and I can check it off my list. There’s no excuse.

I went through a long stretch of doing F45 because it was only 45 minutes. Honestly, I would sometimes skip the last five minutes so I could get out of there in 35 or 40. As important as stretching is, I would leave early if I had to. I loved that there were no mirrors, so I wasn’t judging myself. It was different every day, and I didn’t have to think about it.

I recently shifted to Fit With Coco, which is a little more Pilates-focused. With a fourth kid, working out at home lets me shave off the commuting time. Forty-five minutes is the absolute maximum for me. Ideally, I work out four days a week, but at least three.

I also walk a ton. Walking is therapeutic for me, almost like meditation. It changes my attitude. I’m getting sunlight in my eyeballs, fresh air and nature. I can also bring someone on a scooter, a kid on a bike, two dogs and the stroller. I’m burning their energy, they’re outside and we’re all getting exercise together.

What’s your go-to weekday lunch?

I’m a big yogurt girlie because it’s easy. I’ll have Greek yogurt with Purely Elizabeth granola, Be Well by Kelly protein powder, blueberries and whatever other fruit I have.

What’s your go-to easy dinner?

There are a few meals in the rotation. One is Goodles with ground beef and a little tomato paste. It’s like a healthier Hamburger Helper. Sometimes I’ll put broccoli in there, too. It’s fast, but it still feels like comfort food.

There’s always taco night every Tuesday. We have to have avocados, and I love all the Siete products, especially the seasoning.

Another go-to is ground-chicken broccoli cheddar patties. The kids love them, and they’re great leftover. We’ll make homemade sweet potato fries or Jessie’s fries, which are so good.

We also do spaghetti and meatballs or Bolognese, and teriyaki chicken rice bowls. That’s basically our menu every single week!

What supplement or wellness habit has made a noticeable difference for you?

Creatine has been the biggest hack for me. I think my postpartum experience was so much better this time because of it. It gave me more energy on nights when I didn’t sleep, and I felt like the brain fog was truly lifted.

There’s a stigma that creatine is bulky and for men, but I take it more for my mind. Both my grandma and grandpa had Alzheimer’s, so brain health is something I think about a lot.

Of course, women should talk to their doctors about what’s appropriate for them, especially during pregnancy or postpartum.

What’s your go-to outfit?

A jumpsuit. It puts you together from head to toe, and it’s super comfy.

What’s your favorite app?

ChatGPT. From finding cool places to get ice cream, to figuring out baby sleep habits, to building an itinerary for a staycation, to helping me create a marketing brief—it touches all facets of my life.

I’m a very curious person and a researcher, and it has only helped with that. I don’t know how I lived without it. It’s my best little sidekick and has made life so much more manageable.

I finally upgraded to the paid version, and I can’t believe I waited so long. It’s so worth it.

What’s the best thing you’ve bought for under $100?

Jelly flats. They can elevate an outfit that doesn’t feel trendy and give you that feeling of freshness. There are other things in my closet that I’ve owned for 10 years, so I like adding one small, trendier piece.

What kitchen appliance can’t you live without?

My NutriBullet. I’ve had it for nine years! It’s so easy to clean.

I hate the Vitamix because it’s massive and so much to clean. I actually don’t have an air fryer, but I might need one.

What’s the last great book you read?

Into the Blue. So good! It’s a little longer, but it completely took me away.

What’s your current beauty obsession?

Benefit Precisely, My Brow Pencil. I realized the importance of a good brow when I started working at Benefit. Even if I don’t wear mascara, I need a good brow.

What would you happily outsource forever?

Putting sheets on beds. I hate it!

I’m also very happy to outsource cleaning the house. I’ll give up other luxuries, but I want a cleaning lady at least once a month. During the times when we haven’t had one, we’ve ended up stuck inside cleaning the house on a Saturday. That does not bring me joy.

What do you want to know about how other women make their lives work?

I want to know: how are people juggling their kids being in so many activities?

Right now, I only have one child who is old enough to be involved in a lot of activities. But when you have multiple kids going in different directions—how are moms doing it? If anyone knows, tell me!

What’s one thing every ambitious woman should know?

You’re never going to have balance.

Some days you’re a good mom, and some days you’re a good worker—but rarely are you both. The quicker you can come to terms with that and understand that the balance shakes out over time, the better.

There will be five days when you crush your job and then five days when you crush being a mom. You’re not going to do it all in one day.

I think it gets easier over time. When I had my first child, I was weeping because I felt like I never saw her and was missing all these things. Now that I have four, I’m more okay knowing that we’ll get quality time together on the weekends.

The balance isn’t in every single day. It’s in the long game.

–

Okay, I’m seriously influenced to get a Nutribullet (I have a Vitamix and do indeed hate cleaning it, wahh) and start making smoothies again. And also do the ice dunk. And read Into the Blue. So many good tips, thank you Laurin!

Connect with Laurin on LinkedIn–she’s the best!

Every person interviewed on Whatever She’s Doing is doing so out of the goodness of their heart and to support this Substack. Please make sure all comments are made with warmth and respect.

HOW AMBITIOUS WOMEN ACTUALLY MAKE IT WORK

The whole purpose behind Whatever She’s Doing is to get to know the real, down-and-dirty truth about how busy, ambitious women are making it all work. And yes, that means all the things they are doing, prioritizing, organizing, adding and squeezing in during naptime and between work meetings. But it also means the things that aren’t making the cut: what gets less effort, gets outsourced or gets ignored altogether.

We’ve all heard “you can’t have it all” or “you can have it all, but just not all at once.” Which I totally get. But as a longtime writer, I can’t ignore the negatives in those phrases: CAN’T and BUT. I prefer, “You can have everything that matters.” And that means deciding what doesn’t deserve your precious time and energy—and focusing on what does.

There are a LOT of things I care about and put effort into as a mom: quality time with my family, my career, my friendships, my health and fitness, and my hobbies (reading and Substack!). When it comes to my kids, I care deeply about raising kind and respectful people who try their best, move their bodies, pursue their interests, eat reasonably healthy foods and at least try new ones.

But if I’m going to care about allll those things, some others just can’t make the cut. So here are seven things I STOPPED caring about as a mom.

1. What my kids wear

I look at kids dressed in adorable, beautifully crafted little outfits and am just obsessed. But those clothes—neutrals, florals, soft cardigans, you know the look—are not what my kids want to wear. And unless we’re taking our professional holiday card photo, I’m over arguing with them about it.

Both of my girls are very particular about what they wear (especially my oldest—and from a very young age). They know their style: one wants a Zara faux-leather jacket and red sneakers; the other wants an exclusively Elsa wardrobe. Wearing what they like excites them and makes them feel confident, and I don’t want to take that away from them. So I buy the ugly backpacks, rainbow sequin headbands and neon sneakers, and call it a day.

2. Having a perfectly clean house

Let’s be clear: I LOVE a clean house. I want the kind of house that looks like no one lives in it. But realistically, as long as I have kids at home, that’s not going to happen. And if I don’t want to spend all day constantly picking up after my daughters (5 and 7) instead of playing with them, I need to let it slide.

My goal is a version of the 80/20 rule: A house that’s 80% clean is a win. To keep it at 80%, I have a housecleaner who comes once a month to do a deep clean, spend a few pockets of five to 10 minutes tidying up each day, run the dishwasher every night, and go on a bender organizing drawers or cabinets whenever I feel inspired (about once a month).

3. Being a fantastic cook

Would I like to be a fantastic cook and make amazing homemade meals every night? Yes! Obvi. But at this stage in life, with all the energy I’m pouring into other buckets, I’m not aiming for an A+—just a passing grade. (Remember those pass/fail classes in college? The best. So low pressure). I want a decently healthy meal on the table and for my family to sit and eat it together—most nights (not all).

Some nights will require chicken nuggets or breakfast for dinner. Lots of nights will include pasta. Some nights my kids will like whatever new food is on their plates; some nights they won’t. My goal is to show up consistently and make dinner “good enough.”

4. Keeping up with the Joneses

(Not to be 100 years old and use an expression from the 50s…? I think…?)

This can be a tough one. It’s hard not to compare your life—and your kids—to the people around you. (Hellooo, Instagram, which is partly why I’m barely on it anymore.) And comparing your life to the lives of those around you can take many forms.

In my life in San Francisco, it’s less about how big and beautiful someone’s house is or what designer clothes or bags they’re wearing at school pickup. It’s more about where they’re vacationing (Switzerland! Bali! Spain!) and all the activities their kids are doing (Russian Math! Competitive soccer! Advanced gymnastics!).

I have made a very conscious decision to take it in, acknowledge it and refocus on my own life. It reminds me of the quote, “I look to the left, I look to the right, and I stay in my lane.” I will plan the trips and activities that are best for our family, our finances, our kids’ interests and our schedule—and that’s that.

5. Goodie bags

I have never done goodie bags, and I never will. I already put a lot of mental energy into planning my kids’ birthday parties (Food! Drinks! Cake! Bouncy house rental!), and I personally do not want to think about everything going into the bags, the bags themselves and then having to pack them.

Most of the ones we get are full of sugar and plastic junk that gets forgotten about the next day. (Sorry for the brutal honesty—I could rant about goodie bags for a solid hour!) This is an easy one to cross off my mental list.

6. Saying yes to everything

I need downtime, and so do my kids. I used to overschedule our weekends to try to do everything and see everyone. Now, I’m much more intentional about protecting my time and energy.

If my kids want to go home and chill, we’ll skip the school hangout. If a Friday night event feels like too much after a long week, we’ll decline—even if we have nothing else officially going on. If an event requires two hours in the car, I’m probably not going. I’m not very spontaneous because sometimes spontaneity causes me more stress, and that’s OK. Saying no protects my time, sanity, and energy.

7. Pretending I’ve got it all together

At this stage in life, I don’t really care if people know that my youngest is a super-picky eater, that I’m stressed about a big life change, that my house doesn’t look picture-perfect, that I get overwhelmed sometimes, that I haven’t figured out all the forms to get my daughter into Girl Scouts, or that once in a while, I’ll have cereal for dinner on the couch—and it’s the best.

I’m not perfect. No one is. And I don’t want to fake it or be around others who do. The beauty of being real is that we can help each other through the messiness of life, and find the beauty in it.

Making it all work isn’t always about doing MORE, but about getting very clear on what doesn’t deserve your energy.

What have you stopped caring about so much? Tell me yours in the comments…I may include answers in a follow-up!

I love to read. I find reading to be this magical blend of relaxation, escape, and singular focus. It’s almost meditative. When you’re reading, you can’t be scrolling on your phone, watching TV, catching up on texts, or getting distracted by your never-ending to-do list. It unlocks new worlds, teaches me things, and I think makes me a more interesting person (flashback to last month in Napa, when after a few glasses of wine I went on a rant to my girlfriends about the Dust Bowl—read The Worst Hard Time and The Four Winds and you’ll see why).

BUT (why is there always a but?!!). With a demanding career and two kids, and wanting to make time to have a clean house, get dinner on the table, work out, see my friends, all the things…when and how exactly is this reading happening?

I’m breaking down the 10 habits and hacks for how I have gotten up to reading 50 books a year.

And a MASSIVE disclaimer…my kids are now 5 and 7 years old. I did NOT read as much when they were very young, I think I read about 4 books per year when I had babies. So if you’re at a different stage of life, please don’t feel any pressure that you “should” be reading a ton. This is only if you’re interested in leaning into reading and staying motivated, whatever that looks like for you. And, none of these resources or books have been sponsored (but if anyone wants to tap me for a sponsorship opportunity lmk, lol). Ok end of disclaimer.

Here we go.

1. Read before bed.

Once you start doing this, it becomes a really pleasant wind-down ritual. It can be for 10 minutes, it can be for an hour. Keeping a book next to your bed, and getting into bed earlier than normal—knowing you are earmarking time to read—protects this precious time and makes it part of your daily routine.

2. Watch less TV.

Let’s just get into the most unpopular method, shall we? No one probably wants to hear this, but the less TV I watch, the more I read. There is precious little time between when the kids go down and when I need to go down (as in, 1 hour), and I like to save a good chunk of that time for reading. So I phased out all the Housewives franchises; I let Heated Rivalry and Off Campus pass me by. And you know what? The world kept turning. I do still keep a few shows in the rotation (Summer House drama, anyone?) but typically don’t watch more than a few hours of TV per week.

3. Join a book club (formal or informal).

I’ve been in a book club for about 10 years, and although it’s changed people and forms, it’s always something I come back to. Having people to talk to about my books is FUN and having a “deadline” is honestly motivating. These days, I meet every month with two of my best friends, and we go to a bougie restaurant to discuss the month’s book. It’s kind of like a reading/gossip/supper club and I love it so much. I also have a few other friends who are big readers, and we started a WhatsApp group where we discuss books and share recommendations.

4. Track my books on Goodreads.

Ok this app is definitely not perfect, but it’s a great visual way to keep track of books you want to read, see what your friends are reading, and check off your own books when you’re done (SO satisfying). You can create an annual book goal and monitor your progress as you go–it kind of gamifies reading. Add me here!

5. Switch up my genres.

If I read the same genre over and over, I get bored and just fall off reading. So I rotate between contemporary fiction, historical fiction (my favorite), nonfiction, self-help, memoirs, and occasionally I’ll throw in a fantasy, sci-fi or romance. This keeps my reading journey varied and interesting, and gives me lots of content to talk about.

6. Stop reading books I’m not into.

It took me waaaay too long to become ok with this. I felt like it was a sign of failure, and that if I started a book and had already put a lot of time into it, I should just push through it. But honestly—reading should be enjoyable. Life is too short to force yourself to finish a book that’s just meh. So put it down and move on to the next. It’s ok.

7. Read on planes and at airports.

If I’m on an airplane, I’m reading a book (or sleeping). I don’t need to mess around with podcasts, or movies that always make me cry, and I definitely can’t focus on doing *actual* work. It’s a great way to just power through your book list. (Note: this only works when you aren’t traveling with your kids, or if your kids are old enough to occupy themselves with a screen or book).

8. Leverage my local library and the Libby app.

I prefer to borrow my books instead of buy them whenever possible (it just gets hard when you want to read THE hot trendy book that everyone else is also trying to get…cue me buying the hardcover copy of Yesteryear). I use my library app to put books on hold and then just go pick them up when they’re ready; I also put lots of books on hold via Libby, then whenever one is ready, I download it onto my Kindle. It’s easy, and it saves money.

9. Read while my kids watch movies.

On the weekends, if we’re at home, we usually have movie nights. We all chill on the couch, have an easy dinner (not above a frozen pizza), and veg out. But there are only so many times I can watch Aristocats, Kung Fu Panda 3 or It Takes Two (although the Olsen twins are still iconic). So while they watch, I read. I’m not on my phone, and I get some much-needed relaxation myself.

10. Listen to audiobooks (specifically memoirs).

I have friends who are obsessed with audiobooks and constantly have one in rotation (also available through Libby!). But my mind used to wander SO much…to the point where I’d miss whole chapters. So I gave up. UNTIL I started listening to memoirs. There usually aren’t tons of characters to keep track of or crazy plot twists. Often they’re read by the authors themselves which is super engaging. And the stories are WILD, which keeps me super dialed in. I’ll do about one audiobook per quarter, and listen while I’m driving, walking, or cleaning…passive multitasking at its finest.

Aaand bonus round! Here are some of my favorite books (not an exhaustive list because that’s too much pressure, but a decent representation).

FICTION (heavy/depressing)

• James

• Demon Copperhead

• American Dirt (I know the controversy about this book but still thought it was so important)

• Pachinko

• East of Eden

• Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

• The Four Winds (and The Women and most books by Kristin Hannah)

• Homegoing

FICTION (not heavy/depressing)

• The Correspondent (ok actually kind of sad but not a major downer and SO good)

• Daisy Jones and the Six (big fan of Taylor Jenkins Reid)

• Less

• The Wedding People

• Lessons in Chemistry

• Wellness

• The Blue Moon Cafe & 24-Hour Occult Emporium (shameless plug for my friend Lexie’s book that drops this week!)

NON-FICTION

• Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed (I need to talk to somebody about this!!)

• Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned A Generation of Women Against Themselves

• A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck (INSANE story)

• The Worst Hard Time (ignited my Dust Bowl passion)

• The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder

SELF-HELP

• What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: And Two Other Short Guides to Achieving More at Work and at Home (very Whatever She’s Doing-coded)

• Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

MEMOIR

• Educated (MUST READ!)

• How to Murder Your Life

• From Here to the Great Unknown (Lisa Marie Presley’s memoir)

• In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom

Let me know your top must-reads and any tips on how you fit in reading time!

You probably already know, but this was inspired by the TikTok “things worth your money” (yes, I have a time limit on my TikTok app, and yes, I ignore that time limit every day). And listen, I’m not here to tell people how to spend their hard-earned dollars. This is more about what I PERSONALLY believe is worth the money—for me.

For a little background, I’m a beauty executive living in San Francisco with my husband (who also works) and two daughters, ages 5 and 7. While we do have money to spend, this city is expensive, kids are expensive (can we talk about camps? And swim lessons??), and unfortunately, not everything can make the cut. I spend on things that noticeably improve our lives and bring me joy, but less on things that just don’t deliver enough value.

So, let’s get into it.

6 THINGS I SPEND MONEY ON

1. My home

I believe where you live has a huge impact on your mental health. I’ve lived with bad roommates, I’ve lived in shitty basement apartments, I’ve had annoying condo neighbors—and let me tell you, itcuts you to your core every. single. day.

I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, and a huge portion of our paychecks goes toward our home. But I love it. It’s big enough for the four of us to live comfortably (by city standards, lol), centrally located on a hill with beautiful views, and close to my family and work. It makes me happy every day. 100% worth it.

2. Travel and experiences

I love to travel and make memories with my family and friends. So if I’m invited on a girls’ trip to Japan, spring break with family friends to Mexico, wine tasting in Napa, or a nice dinner with my book club—I’m going to say yes. I pay to take my kids to museums, family camp, and long weekends in Sonoma or Santa Cruz. I paid to have an awesome 2000s-themed 40^th birthday party (with an open bar, hello) that I’ll always remember. As we used to say back then…YOLO.

3. My hair

Taking care of my hair makes me feel more confident, which is huge for my overall headspace. I wasn’t genetically gifted with amazing hair (wahh), and now I’m getting some grays, so yes, I’m going to spend money taking care of it.

I go to Shanna at Monarch Salon, who is sooo good at giving me the cut and color I want while keeping my hair healthy. I also have a Dyson Airwrap (with the large round brush attachment), a red light cap, and a collection of (mostly drugstore, thank god!) products from the Abbey Yung hair method (her method has literally changed my hair—please look her up).

4. Workout classes

I’ve been working out for 20 years, and I know myself. If I do a workout alone at home or in a gym, I’ll probably half-ass it and potentially not even do it. But I LIVE for the energy of workout classes—the music, the vibes, the instructor yelling at me, the other people sweating beside me and motivating me.

Right now, I’m spending $244 per month on a Solidcore membership (obsessed, it’s my entire personality), plus around $14 on the Peloton strength app. In the past, I’ve done ClassPass and had packages or memberships at Lagree studios, Barry’s, SoulCycle—you name it. For how working out makes me feel and look, it’s worth every penny.

5. A rental property

Last year my husband and I bought a condo in Palm Desert, furnished it, and turned it into a vacation home and rental property (find it on Airbnb if you want a taste of the desert life!). This wasn’t cheap, and we’ve cut spending in other areas to make it the best living space—and most profitable rental—it can be. It’s an investment and, hopefully, a place where we can spend a lot more time once we retire (which, manifesting that will be semi soon? maybe?).

6. Coffee from coffee shops

I’ve seen approximately 3,689 pieces of content saying that if you want to save money, just stop buying coffee and make it at home. I do make one cup every morning at home, but it also brings me incomparable joy to walk to coffee shop and have one made for me. Every day. I mean, it just tastes better, it gets me out of the house, and I get to vibe out at the coffee shop. My go-to is Philz but I also have a running list of cute places around the city (most recently, Hardware and Jaandi - both adorable).

I do this almost every day. Is it practical? No. Will I give it up? Also no.

6 THINGS I DON’T SPEND MONEY ON

1. Business-class flights

Listen, I LOVE a business-class flight, okay? When I’m flying for work and it can be expensed, there is truly nothing better. But there is no way in hell I’m going to spend $8,000 on a round-trip ticket to London or Paris or wherever. NO. WAY.

I will suffer in economy, get horrible sleep (despite my silk eye mask, earplugs, travel pillow, and travel foot stirrups), and power through on the other side. While it’s not great, it saves me thousands in just one day.

2. Designer clothes and expensive jewelry

I work in the beauty industry, where many other leaders are dripping in Dior and Louis Vuitton (honestly, it’s iconic and I’m here for it). And yes, I have a few designer bags (mostly from employee sample sales tbh), and I like to buy quality clothes. But this is an area I’m mindful of.

I mostly shop at places like J.Crew, Levi’s, Everlane (SOB that they were bought by Shein, kill), American Vintage, Gap, and occasionally stuff from Revolve. I keep my jewelry simple, and I wear the same black Beyond Yoga workout sets year after year.

While I’d love to splurge on a fancier closet, my other expenses (see above) are more important to me.

3. Private school for my kids (right now)

I’m a big believer in public school, AND it’s also very important to me that my kids get an excellent education. For elementary school, we were lucky enough to get into a top-rated Spanish immersion public school within walking distance of our house. It has a warm, active community and a diverse group of students from a variety of backgrounds. It’s not perfect, and the facilities could be nicer, and the classes could be smaller, but we’re very happy.

Private schools offer a lot. But for this exact moment in time, that crazy price tag isn’t worth it for our family.

4. Manicures

I spent many years getting gel manicures. But the time and money have become a huge hassle. It takes at least 90 minutes (which…with work and kids, when exactly am I doing this?), and you have to plan your life around your next appointment so your nails don’t look grown-out and chipped and gross, and yeah, you get it.

I’m into the bare-nail trend and have seen a lot of v stylish and successful women I know rock this look forever. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

5. Luxury makeup and skincare products (without performance to back them up)

I’ve worked in the beauty industry for 13 years, and I know what constitutes a *real* clinical claim, what’s marketing fluff, and when a product is actually worth the money.

I do TONS of research before purchasing something new. Often, I can get a product for $30 instead of $200 that works just as well, if not better.

I’ve also really simplified my makeup routine and spend a lot less impulsively than I used to. I know what I like, and what works for me.

6. Our car

We don’t drive anything super fancy (this coming from the land of Teslas). We have a Hyundai Tucson plug-in hybrid. It runs on electric for shorter distances (aka almost all the driving we do). We charge it in the garage and spend almost nothing on gas.

It’s big enough for our kids and all their crap, small enough to parallel park in tight spaces, and not so nice that we get upset when it gets dinged—which, living in the city, it inevitably does. We used to drive a Mercedes SUV, and honestly, like the Hyundai better. I don’t care about fancy cars, never have and never will, and this one is great for us.

Well, there you have it! What do you spend money on because it’s totally worth it to you? What do you skip? I want to know!